Despicable Me!

Blogging, yes, that is how desperate the tiding of my life have made me. I remember starting this blog to provide a vent to my effervescent personality and here I am, a circle completed. I am closing down on the 25th year of my existence and the concept of life still eludes me. I know I don't want to sound all philosophical and shit but it is true I am lost at sea. My old friends would remember my self composed saying from class 11th- "Life is a progressive realization of your chutiyaaps", I dont know if I was stuck my brilliance at the moment of it's composition or is it truly is the sad reality of existence. Maybe I grew too fast, matured to early to suckle the trivial joys of life that to me seemed trifle. My critique nature has become a poison. I feel the purpose missing, the motive fading and the journey tiring. There is a parasitic conglomeration of multiple personalities within me each trying to drift me in a new direction but like all symmetric vector forces they cancel each other and I stand unmoved untouched. The yonder days are too deeply engraved, I miss them. Mom always used to yell at me for having too many friends and too involved with them, but guess what here 10,000 miles away in the so called Land of Dreams with respectable money and a prospective career, them is what I yearn for. Enough of self loathing, I need a purpose, a rejuvenating force to propel me away from this carcinogenic surrounding called my mind.